A Holistic Homebirth For Me!
I had a baby … at home! Before you assume this is going to
be a rant about the greatness of homebirth and a bunch of hospital birth
bashing, it is not. I believe that every Mama has the right to make her own
educated decision about what is best for her and her family (“because the
doctor my insurance company assigned to me said so” is not an educated
decision, by the way. If you do your research and decide that hospital birth is
right for you, good for you. Research and educate!).
This is about a holistic birth. (For more about Holism or
holistic lifestyle, read: “Holistic Health & Wellness: What is Holism and Why Should We Strive for It?”). Even after reading about Holism, you may not
understand how it may relate to birthing a child or what specifically entails a
“holistic birth”. Just like any other part of a holistic lifestyle, a holistic
pregnancy and birth take into consideration ALL aspects of a person (mind,
body, soul, etc.). Having a holistic birth does not require you to go 100%
natural in your home; in keeping in mind every aspect of the mother and baby,
each situation is unique and special. Low intervention and technology when
necessary (again, educate yourself so you know what is necessary and what is
being offered or made to look important to fill an OB’s wallet) can most
certainly be a part of a holistic birth. The idea behind this blog isn’t to go
into a ton of information about holism in relation to birth; I simply wanted to
summarize and bring the topic to your attention as it relates to the topic at
hand.
Getting to it … Many women chose to share their birth story
and the miracle of bringing life into this world in which they starred in. That
is exactly what I am doing; I intend to share how we came about choosing a
homebirth and our story.
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| A sneak peak at how the story ends |
We found out that we were pregnant with Mandeville baby #2
in June of 2013. We already knew that we would not be having another hospital birth.
We are happy and grateful for the beautiful, smart, strong-willed, and most importantly,
healthy baby girl we had birthed at the hospital. However, we were not happy
with some of the things said, or done, or protocols of the hospital … and this
wasn’t even one of the big hi-tech hospitals. (Again, do your research, I’m not
going to offer up details here.) We wanted to give birth to our second baby in
an environment surrounded by people who supported our choice to have a
holistic, natural birth.
We knew that we would be PCS’ing soon (Army would be moving
us again in the middle of pregnancy). Once we established where we would be, I
immediately set out in search of a midwife with the intentions of birthing in a
Birth Center. After asking around and a Skype meeting, we had decided on a
midwife. I immediately knew she would be the one! She 110% agreed that every
woman has the right to their own educated decision and we shared a lot of
beliefs about the importance of focusing on more than just getting the baby out
and on the beauty of birth; birth should be just that, beautiful.
We had not yet moved, and our midwife was several states
away. We had monthly Skype appointments with her to continue to build our
relationship and to make sure things were going well. It was the last Skype
appointment before our big move that we happened to discuss insurance billing
and cost. During this conversation, I discovered that they don’t actually have
a Birth Center … they do homebirth! I was shocked for about 5 minutes. Then it
was pure excitement! “I could have EXACTLY what I want if it’s in my home; no
one can tell me what to do in my home!”, “WooHoo!”, “Get the birthing essential
oils ready, honey!” These are the types of thoughts I had at first. The only fear
in me was having to tell my husband this
new information and change of plans. I’ve already ruined the suspense of this
event because you know I had my baby at home; he took it surprisingly well and
over time grew to really like and prefer the idea.
Fast forward to Super Bowl Sunday …
We did some shopping, we ate some really unhealthy food at a
diner (my last craving of this pregnancy was malts), took a 2 hour nap (which
wasn’t normal, and in hindsight I realize this was my bodies way of resting up
for that night), and joined some friends at their home for Mexican food and to
watch the Super Bowl. After halftime, it was time to head home and get our
toddler, Addison, in bed. We were home for maybe 15 minutes and I was getting Addison
into jammies and brushing her teeth when I began to have mild contractions. My
contractions started around 9:15pm-ish. I told my husband that while he put her
to bed I was going to get a big glass of water and lay down. It was 11 days
before my due date, so I thought maybe it was some strong Braxton-Hicks caused
by the sodium (dehydration) and unhealthy food we had ate all day. Nothing a
little hydration and rest couldn’t calm.
They didn’t stop or become duller. My husband, Justin, came
in from putting Addison to bed in hopes of going to bed himself. I informed him
I didn’t think that was happening and even “blamed” this on him (I was joking
of course, but it is fun to blame stuff on him, Lol). Earlier that day, while
we were shopping, he made the request to our unborn baby that he stay in for
another week because he had training this coming week that he was really
looking forward to attending. I told Justin that in his first act of defiance,
our baby decided to come that evening.
I spent the next couple of hours relaxing and texting with
my doula, Jessica. During this time, my husband diffused some essential oils
(see 'Are Essential Oils Safe for Childbirth' for more about EO's during labor), put others on the soles of my
feet, I attempted a warm bath and found it uncomfortable, and I even poured a
glass of red wine. Unfortunately, it was dumped because after two sips, I
decided I needed something more hydrating and wine wasn’t tasting good (I know,
I know … crazy, right?! Wine is always delicious! Lol). Since we did not plan
on our baby joining us this soon, we didn’t have everything ready, so Justin
worked on stuff between contractions. Some of these things included stringing
my beads that were sent or given to me for my online Bead Ceremony, turning up
the water heater (which proved to be pointless because I didn’t even have time
to set up the pool), and bringing part of our birth kit downstairs (the other
part wasn’t here because our home visit in which our midwife drops it off was
rescheduled due to weather). During contractions, he would lie next to me and
hold my hand. It doesn’t seem like much, but just having him there, knowing how
much this amazing, intelligent, strong man cares for me and our family … thinking
about the love and support within our little family … it means the world to me,
comforted me, and helped me to relax as I was about to bring our new baby into
the world. (And now I’m being all sappy Mama like and tearing up.)
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| Love from my amazing husband |
In case you did not know, Jessica is absolutely wonderful and
I couldn’t imagine my homebirth experience without her! Anyway, we were
chatting while was on her way home from her wedding. She was married the previous
day, one state south of ours. Instead of spending the remainder of her weekend
with her husband, she went straight home, grabbed her birth stuff, and came to
my house. Jessica arrived about 12:30am.
I think my body knew that she was there and we were only
waiting for one more person, our midwife, Donna. The contractions were getting
closer together and more intense over the 3-ish hours before Jessica’s arrival,
but they weren’t super strong yet. I was still able to breathe through them without
verbal encouragement and quietly for the most part. Once Jessica was there and had
brought her stuff in, the contractions seemed to intensify quickly.
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| Jessica massaging my low back/hips |
While Justin continued to do what he was doing thus far,
Jessica offered words of encouragement and some gentle pressure on my hips,
which was very welcomed! I always love a good, deep massage, but not this time.
Justin offered some deeper massage on my lumbar region in the muscle bellies
and I thought about turning around and attacking him. I quickly realized, that
for me, this was not a time for any kind of muscle work. Instead, he gently
massaged some of my essential oil blends I had prepared in advance on my back.
Although I can’t say that they decreased the intense feeling from the contractions,
the scent was wonderful and made me happy.
I don’t quite remember the exact time, but I began to feel a
slight urge to push. At this point, the midwife had still not arrived yet!
Justin called her to see where she was. Since she had been delivering babies
pretty much every night that week, she didn’t have her spare birth kit in her
car and to run to the office to gather one. Her office is about 40 minutes from
our house in daytime traffic. Later we found out that following Justin’s call,
Donna was driving like a mad woman (about 90mph) down the main strip to get to
our home.
After the phone call, Jessica and Justin helped me to the
bathroom to change positions and let gravity do a little work. I was knelt next
to the bath tub in our master bathroom. I don’t remember how many contractions
I was like this for, but I think Jessica encouraged me to stay that way for 3-4
contractions. I remember thinking during these 3-4 contractions, which seemed
like the longest more horrible contractions of my life, “what the hell was I
thinking, doing this at home?!” After the last contraction in this position, as
Justin and Jessica helped me back to the bed, I shared that thought with them. Jessica
reassured me that it is a normal thought and I was okay for feeling this way. Then
a new thought hit me, “I’m done! I can’t do it anymore!” Looking back, I know
this typically means transition and I am almost done, but at the time those
were not my thoughts.
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| Addison comforting Mommy |
Shortly after this change in my mind (and body), Donna
arrived! She laid next to me and asked how I was doing. All I said to her is “I’m
done.” Her reply, “okay, you don’t have to do it anymore, you are done.” She
then had me roll onto my back to check me and the baby. I remember thinking she
was out of her dang mind wanting me to roll onto my back. That was the most
uncomfortable position imaginable (and think, OB’s expect women to labor like
this?! Psh … umm, no. NO!). She checked, and sure enough, it was time to push!
And as if on cue, in walks Miss Addison. It is time for me to push and my 2
year old daughter walks into our bedroom. We had read her books and talked to
her about birth a lot over the past couple of months, just in case. But I didn’t
know how it would go if she happened to be awake during any of it. She crawled
up into the bed next to me and asked if I was okay. I told her I was and that
Connor was coming. She laid there, rubbing my arm, completely calm.
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| Wooden birthing stool |
I think that her RN, Kelsey, may have worked faster than
ever to get everything out and ready for delivery. From the time Donna checked
me until the time they were set up and moved me to the bathroom lasted 1-2
contractions. Although I didn’t get to try the birth tub, as I had hoped to, I
was greeted with a wooden birthing stool.
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| Justin bringing Addison into the bathroom |
I got on the stool and was bracing myself on the edge of the
bathtub. I don’t remember specifically feeling concerned, but Jessica must have
seen a look of fear on my face when Justin walked in carrying Addison. She
assured me Addison was okay and to focus on birthing our new baby. I pushed a
few times, but I didn’t feel like I was being effective because I couldn’t
fully focus on it. I was paying more attention to not falling because I felt
like my hands were slipping off the edge of the tub. Justin sat on the edge of
the tub behind me, and I was able to relax against him. Being supported and
embraced by the love and strength of my husband, I was able to focus my
thoughts and efforts on the task at hand. My pushing seemed much more effective
now and it seemed like it went really fast at this point.
One of the last few pushes, my water broke, spraying all
over Donna! 1-2 pushes later, I was cradling my baby’s head in my right hand,
while holding Justin’s leg with my left. Next push, my baby boy was born!!! Monday,
February 03, 2014 at 1:47am, Connor Gerard Mandeville was born in the warmth
and comfort of our home, engulfed in the love of his big sister, Addison and
his Daddy … and of course me, his happy and exhausted yet insanely energized
Mommy! He entered this world weighing in at 8 pounds even and 20.5 inches long.
Before I tie it up, I have to brag for a moment about how
well Addison did. Addison is understanding, comforting, helpful, loving, and
more than sweet … more than I ever expected. She was braver and better educated
about what to really expect than many adults witnessing a birth. I wouldn’t have
traded her being there for any other person. Immediately after he came out,
before he had even turned pink, she was running over asking, “Can I hold my
baby Connor?!” Love that little girl to pieces and pieces!
Following the birth of my wee-man, I was loved, nurtured,
cared for, and my house was cleaned … and I didn’t have to do it! WooHoo! The
best part of the entire experience was being surrounded by those who love me
and support my holistic choices. Okay, really the best part was snuggling my
family in my own bed afterward, but that was a very close second. <3
I am so grateful for the wonderful women who made this
experience so great: my doula, Jessica (Blue Tree Birth Services); my midwife, Donna
(Monarch Midwifery), and her nurse, Kelsey. Above all, I can’t express in words
how beyond thankful I am for the love, strength, and support of my husband,
Justin. Finally, for the awesomeness of my daughter, Addison. Without these
people, the birth of my handsome son may not have been the amazing experience
it was. *getting sappy and teary eyed again*
A few more birth pictures for you:
***More Pics To Come Later (I've had enough photo editing for now)***
If you have any specific questions or topics you would like
to read about, please share on my Facebook page or email
me. Together we can “Relax your body, Refresh your mind, Rejuvenate your
life!”
The intention of a therapeutic fertility massage session is to support the
body in cleansing, reducing stress, balancing reproductive hormones and
stimulating the reproductive organs. The session is also designed to support
the client to achieve a state of balance emotionally and hormonally. Essential
oils are added to the massage to awaken the reproductive system. Castor oil
packs are applied to the abdomen during the session to cleanse the body. The
result of this technique may increase the chances of achieving conception. 
